Gene Simmons - Asshole

Mon 21st Jun, 2004 in Music Reviews

“Releasing a solo album allows me to purge songs that wouldn’t normally see the light of day” says Gene, and, unfortunately, I have to admit they probably never should have.

This is Simmons second solo outing (with the last being the KISS solo albums in 1978). This grab-bag of styles seems to lack the focus and direction of the God of Thunder himself. It seems prone to sliding into territory that just does “feel right” for such a distinguished rock icon, rather than the “different sides of Gene” angle that they were possibly going for.

Kicking off with the harder riffage of Sweet & Dirty Love seems to get things underway well except for the irritating country feel evoking slide guitar followed by one of the interesting choices for the album, a cover of the Prodigy hit Firestarter. Sounding very guitar heavy (courtesy of Dave Navarro remix of the Prodigy’s own backing DAT), however this could be what saves the track as Gene’s vocal work just sounds comical with the Firestarter title and his well-known fire breathing stage antics (although the opening howl is amazing). Weapons Of Mass Destruction brings back memories of Unholy from the Revenge album, a classic Simmons track.

From here the album takes a turn for the worse with the sad quasi doo-wop vocals of Waiting For The Morning Light (co-written with Bob Dylan, a good song for Bob but Gene seems out of his depth), the plastic person references of Beautiful (similar to a very bad ballad version of Regurgitator’s Polyester Girl), and the lyrical sophistication of a five year old on the title track Asshole, although this track is partially saved by the good time rock feeling of the music.

Now That You’re Gone harks to a flowing Beatle’s-esque melody and features the (slightly annoying) voices of Gene’s two kids. Although this small respite is lost in the moronic sing-a-long of Whatever Turns You On and the cliché Dog, that feels like the Cruel Sea with a bad case of writers block.

Carnival of Souls returns the mood to the heavy pounding bass riffage we all know and love, along with the ringing chords gives this tune a feel of God Gave Rock’n’roll To You in places. Although I can’t shake the “stupid clown/circus” bit in the guitar solo, have a listen and you’ll know what I mean. If I Had A Gun seems to be some sad macho American bravado. Bringing the album full circle back to the lame country slide guitar is I Dream 1000 Dreams, originally a demo intended for Shania Twain and the Dixie Chicks.

I came away feeling like it was a typical album attempt from an older musician trying to be cool: obscene title, new style which is cutting edge (ie. ten years ago) and album cover that is proving that he’s still got it (like his numbers of bedding over two thousand women, doesn’t prove it already.)

I’d give this album a 1.5 simply because he’s seemed to have lived every man’s dream… 1 for the chicks, point 5 for the music…. but if I have to hear “greeted with open arms and open legs” ONE MORE TIME I’m taking it all back.