Coachella

Fri 12th May, 2006 in Music Reviews

Things you will see in Coachella: (in no particular order)

Probably the most beautiful music festival site in the world. Lush polo fields of grass, surrounded by palms and a mountain backdrop; Coachella Valley certainly beats the local show grounds and muddy footy grounds as a site for a music festival.

Live performances captured beautifully on film, not roughly shot on video.

Some of the hundred thousand fans that attended the two-day festival each year.

At least one of your favourite bands; if you don’t then it’s time to think very carefully about why you’ve got those odd looking things sticking out the side of your head. They’re called ears.

Bands performing one song, and one song only. Unless they’re the Pixies. The Pixies are gods and command time for two songs – ‘In Heaven’ and ‘Where is My Mind’.

Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips walking across the punters in a giant plastic bubble.

Wayne Coyne and a nun hand-puppet leading a choir of thousands through ‘Yoshimi.’

Wayne Coyne – the happiest man on the planet.

The always adorable Belle and Sebastian competing with the sounds of the Foo Fighters drifting across their stage.

Odd pairings; a half naked Iggy followed by a half naked Fisherspooner, Bright Eyes followed by Chemical Brothers, many singing with one voice (Polyphonic Spree) followed by a rapper of many voices (Kool Keith, aka Dr Octagon, aka Black Elvis, aka Dr Dooom, aka Mr. Nogatco.)

The odd inclusion of the Crystal Method as the expense of bands that are still played and remembered.

Radiohead.

Bright Eyes reducing his front row of fans to blubbering messes with a starkly beautiful version of Lua.

Michael Franti and Saul Williams getting funky and political.

Oasis pointedly doing neither of the above as they ‘Go Let it Out’.

The Mars Volta and Josh Homme singing the praises of Iggy Pop. Though there is no actual singing from either Volta or Homme. The Queens of the Stone Age don’t get a song on the DVD; and although Volta do perform they don’t really sing – it’s more like a screamed warble.

That gent by the name of Iggy hurling himself into the photographers gathered at the front of stage, then demanding that his Stooges play ‘an animal song.’ They oblige with a fearsome take on ‘I Wanna Be Your Dog’ – Iggy runs about humping everything in sight. It’s magnificent.

Bjork.

Casey Spooner of FischerSpooner preaching to the converted perverted as he grinds is way through ‘Emerge’. Feathers, glitter and silver underpants are prominently featured.

Jack and Meg, bashing out ‘Hotel Yorba’.

Morrissey and a fan who looks so much like Morrissey that he’s helpfully labeled ‘Not Morrissey’. Morrissey plays and the stage is repeatedly crashed by assistant librarians; Morrissey seems not to notice.

Arcade Fire.

Zero 7 closing out the DVD, which seems odd – surely they aren’t big enough to close, you think (they’re only ever last alphabetically, aren’t they?)- until Mozez soul vocals melt your scepticism and the shots of the festival winding down leave you nostalgic for a festival you’ve never been to, only seen on a DVD you’ve just finished watching.

Things you will not see in Coachella:

Inane interviews in which the bands you love are subjected to the torturous gruel of being questioned by the hosts of video clip shows.

Footage devoted to the ‘crazy’ drunken antics of festival goers.Australian flags worn as capes; or seen at all.

Bonus material of much point; brief interviews with The Futureheads, The Libertines, Jenny Lewis and others all to the effect that ‘playing big festivals is fun and Coachella is beautiful.’

Some of the bigger bands that have graced Coachella stages since 1999- The Cure, Beck, Wilco, Foo Fighters, Jane’s Addiction, Massive Attack, The Beastie Boys, Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals, Kraftwerk, Queens of the Stone Age, Blur, The Strokes, Pavement, Rage Against the Machine … and many others that have played the festival.

This list of unseen Coachella bands includes this year’s headliners Daft Punk, Kanye West, Cat Power, Franz Ferdinand, Sigur Ros, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Madonna. Yes, Madonna.

Any Australian bands. Though Wolfmother and The Sleepy Jackson have both played the festival.

Mud.

(note – Things that you may not see in Coachella the DVD but may have seen if you were really at a music festival:

Food and drinks that leave the health of both your body and wallet in a precarious position.The boot of a stage diver crashing towards your head.The sweat of thousands smeared into your t-shirt.

But, that’s half the fun of a festival, ain’t it, Maybe if you watch Coachella with the volume on full, a fat shirtless bloke sitting on you and a girl with a squeaky voice singing along – cause she just looooves this song, then maybe you can recreate the experience at home.)