Audioslave - Be Yourself

Sat 21st May, 2005 in Music Reviews

Are Audioslave awesome? Let the debate begin:

First speaker, affirmative: When deciding whether a band are awesome or not, we could ask a hundred different questions. Do they have an emotional core? Do they innovate? Are they in it for the love or the money? Do the band members wear fetching trousers?

But none of these questions get us anywhere… it is only when we ask ourselves one simple question can we truly know if a band is awesome: do they rock the fuck out? Indeed. It seems so simple, and yet it tells us all we need to know about a band. It tells us if that band is, indeed, truly awesome.

Let’s look at the facts here. Led Zeppelin lacked an emotional core, but they rocked the fuck out regardless. Wolfmother couldn’t find the word ‘innovate’ in a dictionary, but they rock the fuck out. Mötley Crüe might be in it for the money, but they still, beyond doubt, rock the fuck out. And Ozzy Osbourne’s trousers have never been great, but anyone who has heard Paranoid knows just how well he has successfully rocked the fuck out in the past.

And the simple fact is that Audioslave rock the fuck out. Their first album was packed with pure rock and fucking roll. The pounding, Bonham-esque drum intro on debut single Cochise should have proven that beyond any doubt. If that wasn’t quite enough, look to the blood-curdling cry of ‘set if off!’ from the track of the same name; the furious riffs that Tom Morello bled all over their eponymous debut; or the bass lines from Tim Commerford that punched you in the gut and spat in your face for fun.

Audioslave have proven that they’re more than a run-of-the-mill supergroup with one trick up its sleeve. Don’t compare them to Rage Against The Machine – they were never going to be like that polemic, grenade-throwing, Zapatista-loving rock ‘n’ roll juggernaut. Don’t compare them to Soundgarden, that testament to the dark power and emotive glory of the grunge days – it’s 2005 now, and those dirty Seattle days are long gone.

Audioslave are not spoon men, and they care not for anyone rolling down Rodeo with a shotgun. They are a balls-to-the-wall rock powerhouse, all muscled biceps and angry sneer. They’re burning gasoline in your backyard and driving down the highway with reckless abandon. They, to put it simply, rock the fuck out. And that, without doubt, proves that they are awesome.

First speaker, negative: The affirmative have posited some interesting, thought-provoking ideas. But, of course, he conveniently fails to mention their latest single, Be Yourself. It proves – beyond doubt – that Audioslave cannot, as of May 2005, be considered awesome. It’s a trite, radio-friendly shocker, packed with clichés, boring riffs and –

Adjudicator: Let’s stop it there. The new single really does suck. Negative wins by a billion points, to the power of infinity. Times a trillion.