Tex Perkins & HisLadyboyz - No 1's & No2's

Thu 16th Oct, 2008 in Music Reviews

Not many people in the music industry have ever said – œno’ to Tex Perkins. The man’s every musical whim seems to have been expressed throughout his lengthy career. His latest caper, No 1’s & No 2’s, sees him putting his own gritty take on some turgid hits that are so middle-of-the-road they should have a reflector on them.

Backing Perkins on this endeavor are The Ladyboyz, with ranks comprising some fellow Melbourne musical reprobates Joel Silbersher (who’s double guitar-riffing duties must seem a lifetime away from his stint with seminal teenage band God), fellow Dark Horse Charlie Owen, Cruel Sea member James Cruickshank, Gus Agars (The Vandas) and Pat Bourke (Dallas Crane).

Accompanying the release of the album is an infomercial of almost scary authenticity. Piercing, sincere eyes accompany the clasped-handed jovial banter and easy to-and-fro between armchair receding band members, as an open fire crackles invitingly in the background. It is almost negligent not to mention The Ladyboyz’ pristine white suits, that would have even John Harker and his Napisan challenge backing away in panic.

Any misconception that this collection of classic songs is being performed with earnestness and reverence is dispelled after only a few seconds. The not-quite-there falsetto and blokey backing harmonies kick in at the first chorus of opening track I’m Not in Love. Then the song fades out with a whispered ushering of, “Be quiet, big boys don’t cry”, which trails out into a diva-esque “shut up”, “shut up”. It’s then you realise this album wasn’t entirely named after these song’s chart positions.

Almost without exception, the 18 songs have been dragged kicking and screaming down to a base level of bawdiness. Some tracks get hilariously boisterous. Hungry Eyes, Hollywood 7 and penultimate track Hold the Line with Nic Cester all sound like a boozy end of season footy trip taking over a karaoke bar.

All the guest ‘singers’ add great value. Jimmy Barnes tries to strike a soulful falsetto on You Make Me Feel Brand New but instead comes across like Fat Albert on helium. Magic Dirt’s Adalita is a bit more successful at sounding saucy in the sauntering duet of _You and Me _, which ends in a smokily whispered outro as unsettling as hearing your parents talking dirty. Bob Seger’s ballad We’ve Got Tonight features Baby Animals singer Suzi DeMarchi displaying an unexpected level of tenderness. Tex even shows a soft and sassy side, but then all the sincerity is abruptly snapped away as someone starts smashing stuff in the background.

What makes this – œsoft-rock collection’ so essential is that you really don’t (or hopefully shouldn’t) have any empathy for these songs at all. It is impossible not to perversely enjoy the cavalier treatment these songs endure at the hands of Tex and his cohorts. Innocent sappiness is turned into menacing sleaze and soft pop turned to fleshy pulp. Have your credit card ready and call this number now – the Ladyboyz operators are waiting to take your call.

No 1’s & No 2’s is out now through Universal.