The Devil Wears Prada -Plagues.

Fri 9th Nov, 2007 in Music Reviews

Metal heads everywhere must be scowling in utter ecstasy with the Devil Wears Prada’s latest black bitch – Plagues.

Shit – I must say I feel like a right pussy for not loving it. I admit I don’t know much about Metal (What ever type it is – Death-metal, Metal-core, neo-post modern monolithic-metal???, whatever!!) but that’s no excuse – I’m still just an old flea ridden feline!!

Hardcore – hard, f#*king, core is all I can say. Hard couture in suede pumps, perhaps! Talk about mood swings. The Devil Wears Prada’s Plagues is a tortured battle between good and evil – between Ramstein and, shit, I don’t know, a crucified Nickleback on filthy truckers speed maybe!!!

Listening to this I was mauled, battered, kicked, and stomped with footy boots. Then suddenly cajoled by sweet, tempting maidens only to have high voltage leads applied to my nipples and, as a grand finale, I was water-boarded by Donald Rumsfield dressed as a Viking in tights. And that was only in the first song!!!

Describe the album musically – fierce, brutal, monolithic and definitely not soft-core or low-fi!!! I half hoped for a guest appearance by Meryl Streep but there’s as much chance of that as John Howard visiting a gay bondage club with Alexander Downer as his date!! Buckleys! There’s no room for wusses here matey.

In the Metal scene I guess this horrified diatribe is a glowing recommendation!! It should be. Any band that can cram so many schizoid beats and vocals into one album deserves a honorary doctorate from Harvard’s School of Psychology. Actually, I’m sure they’ve already got one.

The charge of the red mist berserkers and their frothing hellhounds!!