Muscles @ The Gaelic, Sydney(12/11/10)

Mon 15th Nov, 2010 in Gig Reviews

Brushing shoulders with a guy in an Everlast singlet and a beanie (season confusion/wardrobe malfunction) and a guy who dropped the c-bomb more than Alf Stewart, I had to double check I wasn’t at Tiesto. Although it was the crowd I expected, I was still having second thoughts. But I’d been starved of Muscles for a good two years now; the drought in skinny white boy electropop-rap was too long and I awaited this show with bated breath and intense curiosity.

Cassian is just another DJ that falls somewhere between enjoyable and forgettable. Mind you there was a pretty tasty transition between some funk-groove-fusion and some fun house jams. Highlight of set was a Caribbean swooner, all tingles and pops, that prompted unintentional head bobs and foot taps. But if support acts are suppose to warm up the floor, he failed. Although peppered with some of the confident kids, it felt like a lukewarm bath where the wee-to-water ratio had swung badly.

Purple Sneakers DJs turn it up a bit, aided by the influx of dancers and the familiarity of the tracks being spun. It’s a broad indie-endorsed crowd pleaser of a playlist, one part ‘tracks you played at parties two years ago’, one part ‘tracks triple j plays now’ and two parts ‘standard and safe’. There’s nothing groundbreaking, but it’s fun, and I could listen to that Yeah Yeah Yeah’s remix forever.

On the back of heavily anticipated follower to Guns, Babes and Lemonade, Muscles broke his sabbatical to clear out some cobwebs and stir the floors once more, this time with some new tracks from his Young and Immature EP. He walks on stage in a jittery, semi-disorientated state, yells, gets excited, avoids eye contact and begins.

Two songs in and Muscles is already struggling vocally with his singing shedding into a scratchy mess. There’s this really inferior sound quality as well that probably is more the venue’s issue. It’s so hazy, every time Muscles attempts dialogue it’s incomprehensible and blurry. There was no time to nod politely though, he’s off again no sooner then he stopped.

After the bombardment of Chocolate, Raspberry, Lemon and Lime, One Inch Badge Pin and Hey Muscles, I Love You – it dawned on me how much nostalgia I drew from his first album. There is something so ridiculous yet divine about the casualty of it all, the lyrics, the gameboy synth pop and how vividly it stirs memories of annoying high-school cliches.

Girls Crazy Go is pure, unadulterated Muscle genius. The synth veers back and forth belting out screeches all the while churning through psychotic bleeps and jaunted verse. And what a mental video! Contender for Rage’s Video of the Year? Live though, it’s nowhere near as impressive but rather is a dirty static emulsion. Disappointing.

For most of the night Muscles was accompanied by two back up vocalists that added nothing. Their presence was so odd as they performed unenthusiastic dance moves and mumbled occasional lyrics. I’m pretty sure the girl on the left didn’t know the lyrics to One Inch Badge Pin.

After a thirty second intermission and nonsensical favourite Ice Cream burst into action. Cue shirts being taken off, with even some girls conforming to the ‘I just wanna dance with my shirt off’ lyric, classy. Muscles thanked a topless audience before going into another new track only to be interrupted by some agro, testosterone-fuelled brawl. I guess shirts off was a bad idea. Stopping mid-song, Muscles deplored the fighters, before security muscle could muscle the muscle-fans-turned-muscle-users out of the venue.

Sweaty was exactly that to the soundtrack of hard, brash electro beats. Some cocky stage invader thought he’d attempt to get chummy with Muscles, but was shutdown as the artist called for security. Closing with Lauren from Glebe, it summed up an entertaining but nothing amazing show. The audience wailed for an encore and Muscles compliantly did a brief Lauren from Glebe sing-a-long. A pretty dismal ending, like some foul medicine that needed to be swallowed quickly.

The night was exactly what to expect from a Muscles gig – a Sterosonic crowd of electrofooties, shirts off, attitude and good ol’ Australiana electronica. Muscles flexed his new stuff and it impressed but left you wanting more. Which is why everyone went to see his DJ set at Purple Sneakers.