I’ve had a surreal day as an extra on the set of a pub, clutching a flat, warm beer for twelve hours and watching Dave McCormack lip-sync to Inner West Girls over and over again. What I really need is a fresh, cold beer and a shot of screaming, balls-n-all rock.

Melbourne three-piece Horsell Common (who take their namesake from HG Wells War Of The Worlds) jump on stage and get straight to work on their loud chaotic rock. Seann William Scott and Dave Grohl strip their throats raw as they yell and scream their way through a set reminiscent of At The Drive In or early Nirvana, minus the angst. The hard, invasive rock sets the tone and high standard for this evening’s following acts.

An old negro chain-gang song plays over the PA as the hard working Black Level Embassy set up their gear, which includes half a red telephone receiver gaff-taped to a mic stand (which I can only assume they acquired on the trip up from Melbourne). They kick in like a speedball, thrashing and flailing with incredible intensity – these rock dogs are chomping at the bit, straining to push it ever-harder, ever-faster, more, more, more. It’s like the gates of hell have swung open and these bastards are playing for their first, last and only chance to save their souls… it’s brutal. The ear-piercing guitar, deep, deep bass and smashing drumwork are turned all the way up to eleven. This is aggressive, urgent and almost desperate art-of-noise rock like heavy Queens Of The Stone Age or a pissed-off AC/DC.

The Nation Blue defiantly tear up the riff from ToTo’s Hold The Line to open their set – this is gonna be something special. Straight out of a deleted scene from ‘School Of Rock’ comes Tom Lyncolgn, a screaming, amphetamine-fuelled Jack Black treating his guitar like a hard, pointy rag-doll. Tossing it over his shoulder, into the stack, rubbing the walls, scratching his back… he’s kneeling on his guitar, he’s punching it now – he’s punching his guitar. This is a big, fat line of A-Grade Cobain and I love it. The music is angry and chaotic and these boys are absolutely thrashing the instruments to within an inch of their lives. Won’t anyone stop this madness and please think of the poor instruments?!

Grand Fatal grab the wheel and steer for the cliff-face, sending us over the edge. After their April residency at Spectrum, these local boys know the room and how to fill it with rock. The sound is so clear and massive that it seems like the four of them are playing on one gigantic guitar – loud, hard and fast. They’re tight as a duck’s bum from touring their Chaser/Eraser EP all up and down the coast and tonight it really shows. They achieve what all tonight’s bands set out to do by delivering relentless and infectious hard rock. I need to lie down now.