CHECK OUT ALL THE PHOTOS HERE.

At one stage during the Beards set, it was like being at a huge stadium gig by some megastar uber band like Foo Fighters or similar. Only much more hairy. As they were singing the anthemic “If your Dad hasn’t got a Beard, You’ve got two Mum’s (two beardless mums)” EVERYBODY in the impressively sized crowd is singing, there are people crowd surfing and going all kinds of beard inspired crazy. It was flipping brilliant.

As I get older I realise that one thing in this world makes me happy above (almost) all others. It is simply this. Everyday, all over the world people have stupid ideas that are instantly discarded. They might blurt it out at the pub or at a party, their friends laugh and then the moment passes and the stupid idea is lost forever. HOWEVER, some people have a stupid idea and follow through with it. “Dude we should totally remake the whole of Star Wars using Lego”, “Man we should have a dinner party where we only serve blue food” (actually went to that one), “We should charge people a lot of money to jump off a bridge with a big elastic band round their ankles!” It’s a dedication to the purity of doing something because it should be done, regardless of opinion or financial gain or loss that has given me some of the greatest moments of enjoyment in my life. A reggae band that plays Led Zeppelin covers with an Elvis impersonator out front (*Dread Zeppelin*)? An English band that plays a hybrid of Abba & The Ramones called Gabba – genius! A band called Tragedy who ARE the best Heavy Metal Bee Gees cover band ever. Add to this impressive cannon then Adelaide’s own THE BEARDS.

I first saw them about two years ago and the idea that these fuzzy faced men had written a whole set of songs about beards and beardly things was pure magic. Surely a gag with limited shelf life though, right? WRONG! Turns out everybody needs more beardliness in their lives. They have toured nationally and have recently returned from Alaska from playing the World Beard Festival (add that to the list too!). And Friday evening saw the launch party for their second CD Beards Beards Beards.

The Gov was filling up early, mostly with the facial growths of the people in the audience, and while it maybe true that some of these may have been taped on, strapped on, stapled on, etc there were also many many big arse beards of many years good standing in attendance.

Opening act was Grandma’s Shotgun, who warmed up the crowd with their country tinged acoustic set. The Barons of Tang, from Melbourne cranked things up a few notches with their wild, gypsy rhythms. A blur of accordions, fiddles and infectious beats had the audience rollicking and jigging all over the place.

But there was really only one reason for so many people to brave the winter chill tonight. The lights dim as an introduction film of famous bearded men through history plays behind the drum kit. God, Rasputin, Jesus, Mohammad, ZZ Top, Chuck Norris, Stalin, Abraham Lincoln ending on a close up of the Beards own drummer John Beardman. The crowd goes bonkers as they make their way onto the stage. Launching right into No Beard No Good (There’s not enough Beards in my Neighbourhood), and the throng is singing along with the tale of Beard pride with gusto.

“There’s a beardless man,
In the flat next door
I’ve never spoken to him before
And I never will
Until he grows a Beard”_

And so begins our journey into the hirsute world of these Beardy evangelists who think every man should have a beard. And every woman. And every child. Born with a Beard is a celebration of a newborn, graced with a full chin of hair when he enters the world. Beards Don’t Kill People – People with Beards Kill People is self explanatory. As the set progresses it is soon obvious that what saves this mono-topic-ed concept from going down in a ball of stubble shavings is these guys can really play. The songs are great catchy country flavoured, poppy pub rock often with sing-a-long chorus’s. Perfect comic timing and some hilarious shtick (like letting people down front stroke their beards late in the set), they work the crowd like only a true professional (and bearded) outfit could. The musical appeal is also extremely broad and people in a trendy inner Sydney nightspot would enjoy their set as much as some pub in the outback.

Other highlights include a list of people who depend on having a beard to do their job called A Wizard Needs a Beard and a truncated version of Shaved off His Beard (and now he’s dead). But the biggest response of the night was for If Your Dad Doesn’t Have A Beard, but the apex for me was the clever It Only Takes a Fortnight…, which reports that

“It only takes a fortnight to grow a decent beard
You grow a beard twenty six times in just a single year
It only takes a fortnight and you know what else is true?
I could grow three hundred & ninety beards
Before I’m over you”

It was a fantastic night and went home and threw away my razor.

CHECK OUT ALL THE PHOTOS HERE.