N*E*R*D & Grandmaster Flash @Hordern Pavilion, Sydney(04/03/09)

Fri 6th Mar, 2009 in Gig Reviews

CHECK OUT THE PHOTOS FROM THE SHOW HERE.

NERD are a band that unite all kinds of people – from hip-hop aficionados to rock pigs, indie crews and excitable dance kids. The crowd filing into the sweaty recesses of the Hordern tonight is probably the most diverse in Sydney. With white dudes dressed like black dudes (see: baggy clothes), black dudes dressed like white dudes (see: Hot Chip spectacles and suspenders), this night truly reinforces Grandmaster Flash’s ill-timed statement: “Music has no colour.”

Indeed that phrase is probably the only relevant thing to come out of the turntable laureate’s set, universally agreed upon by everybody in attendance as the weakest excuse for a DJ performance, ever. If you think putting Biggie next to Blur or Nirvana alongside NWA makes sense, you’d probably dig this support act. But if, like others, you came expecting to see the man famed for making mixing – œan art form’, you’d be sorely mistaken.

With the annoying tendency to cut songs midway through the chorus to reprimand the audience for not dancing enough, in addition to his repeated calls “Put yo’ hands up”, “Syd-NEY” and “This is how we DO hip-hop”, Flash is a right pain in the ass. There’s maybe twenty-five minutes of actual tunes in an hour-and-a-half slot, the rest is hyping, album pimping and generic tunes like House Of Pain’s Jump Around scratch-massacred from here to eternity. If this is the God of modern hip-hop, I hope we’re not his chosen people.

The only salvageable thing about a lousy warm-up act is it heightens excitement for the main event. The crowd is literally snapping with unreleased tension as the lights dim blue – and nothing happens for ten minutes. Technical failure or Pharrell’s prima donna backstage antics, we’ll never know. When NERD finally hit the stage, the relief if palpable. Boasting two drummers (something that’s becoming a common thread in live rap shows of late), a guitarist, bass player, multiple keyboardists and three MCs, this is a band designed to rip shit up. Which they duly proceed to do, except someone’s forgotten to turn Skateboard P’s mic up, to the point where his falsetto crooning is barely audible under the collective weight of his huge backing outfit. It’s up to third nerd Shay to put some grunt into the thing, until the penny finally drops about twenty minutes in.

Put simply, there’s a reason why Pharrell and Chad Hugo (suspiciously clad in bucket hat and sunglasses) are such famous producers; they work well in the studio. With a recording booth, Williams can croon into a closed microphone. Onstage, his voice has no presence at all, even with the volume turned up. And while songs like Anti-Matter and Spaz have definite energy, it’s all coming from the band and recorded samples of Pharrell’s voice. He can strut with the best of them, but this Billionaire Boy just lacks the vocal confidence. Redeeming himself through direct crowd connection and hyperactive dancing, Pharrell eventually ushers in a back-to-back suite of NERD’s best songs, and that’s when things start exploding.

With the quadruple-threat of Rock Star, Don’t Worry About It, Lapdance and She Wants To Move, Sydney finally forgets about the technicalities and dance like a proper Future Entertainment audience. Pharrell’s decided that the best way to hit delicate high notes is scream, and his compatriots follow suit, until the whole thing rocks out like a metal gig, mosh included. Bringing groups of pissed boys and dancing girls onto the stage, the party comes alive as Pharrell and Shay graciously allow themselves to be manhandled while trying to perform; but there’s no issue, everybody’s screaming the words so loud you can barely hear them anyway.

Everybody Nose closes the night, with drummer trade-offs and all kinds of crazy bass sounds. Pharrell, now encouraging us to be creative and sign on for his new website and to say “I’m horny/I want to fuck tonight” is truly in his element; he’s gone mad, we’ve gone mad, and he barely had to sing anything at all. The second half leaves the crowd on a high rather than feeling deflated, but tonight these guys escaped by the skin of their noses. A thrilling, but ultimately hollow ride.