The Donnas, The Cops @ TheCorner Hotel, 02/02/05

Mon 7th Feb, 2005 in Gig Reviews

After lacking enough enthusiasm to trek around Big Day Out to see The Cops (therefore I had no pre-show euphoria), and unfortunately catching The Donnas‘ set, I really had no desire to see this sideshow. Selling my ticket seemed like the smartest option.

Nobody wanted to buy it, so I soldiered on and hoped that BDO was just one bad show for The Donnas. I arrived just in time to see The Cops take to the stage. I love them, and see them whenever I can in Melbourne. But their spark seems to have been misplaced and hopefully, not put out.

They couldn’t connect with the audience, and instead of trying harder, they just seemed to become disinterested. Even the unveiling of the always thrilling cowbell failed to ignite the crowd. Foxtrot Yankee managed to make a few feet tap, but that’s about it. The Cops lost the fight.

Finally, the time of the night that apparently we were all looking forward to arrived. The Donnas took to the stage. Judging from the poor response they received from the crowd, nobody would have really cared if The Wiggles had taken to the stage.

Hearing that the “early stuff” the band promised to play was as “early” as 2003’s Spend The Night I was horrified. I convinced myself that surely, they wouldn’t do something like that. They couldn’t possibly discount their greatest songs in favour of all their new ones. Well, they did. It was obviously a show for fans of the new, not of the old (i.e. the people who’ve heard their many songs that have been optioned off for movies).

It seemed as though the band was just running through the motions. Allison’s a great guitarist, but it was all so contrived. Brett pranced around the stage and clapped during every moment possible. Torry stayed hidden (probably the smarter thing to do), and Maya’s jokes were worse than ever (but surprisingly better than the set).

They ran through the expected “early” songs, like Take It Off, and Who Invited You?, and relied on the audience knowing their latest release, taking the majority of the set from there. Apparently the audience didn’t, as the girls received an applause that was so strong you could almost hear the crickets chirping three doors down.

There was no 40 Boys In 40 Nights. No Everybody’s Smoking Cheeba. Not even a Rock’n’Roll Machine. Instead we were handed Fall Behind Me, Friends Like Mine and It Takes One To Know One (yes, despite sounding eerily similar, they were different songs).

As the band left the stage prior to the encore, I felt myself praying that they wouldn’t return and that this was it. Unfortunately it wasn’t to be, as Torry returned to the stage, trying to get the crowd to cheer for their eventual encore. It didn’t work. Most of the crowd looked just as I felt: severely unimpressed. 45 minutes, around 12 songs, and it was all over. The support band played longer.

Give yourselves a hand, girls. You’ve become corporate rock at its most mediocre.