Feeling a sudden need for some fresh air (or perhaps a quick change in identity, passport and a prompt airfare the fuck out of the country before Imogen Brave’s security detail put a “hit” out on me) I decided a change in scenery was in order, so for random shits and giggles (because clearly, sticking to the ONE venue ain’t nearly batshit insane enough!) I thought I’d drop in at The Crown & Anchor to see what they’re offering on the menu tonight.
Miss Golly Gosh
Or at least it looked like the Crown & Anchor on the outside. On the inside, in the band room, packed to sardine density with an oppressive oestrogen brigade, punching fists, up on each other’s shoulders and shrieking hysterically I could’ve sworn I’d instead somehow found myself in one of those wacky “femsploitation” 70’s retro Z-grade post apocalyptic futures where the entire male population has been wiped off the face of the earth by an uber freaky military grade pandemic (possibly of extraterrestrial origin) and now society is run by a matriachal razor gang of pissed off lipstick lesbians, riot grrrls and chainsaw wielding femme fatales with a serious axe to grind over millennia of patriachal oppression. Or in other words just like Planet Of The Apes with PMS and much MUCH scarier. Still, I bet 48% of you are thinking (and quite imagining with accompanying lingerie and pillow fights) that this would be the most AWESOME place for a dude like me to be on a Saturday night, riiight? Wrong. You can see it in faces of all the males around me, cowering like frightened turtles, as a war chant grows louder. Pushed into corners, stuffed between foldbacks and speaker stacks. They outnumber us, they don’t need us, they have the technology, they have the tenacity.. OOOOOH CRAP WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!
Ironically though, very little of what I’ve just described has ANYTHING to do with the actual band on stage tonight and more to do with this she-beast shitstorm climbing the walls and killing everything that moves. Miss Golly Gosh are an awesome band. A dangerous band. A fiery (fe)malestrom midway between Hole, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and being torn limb from limb by Atari Teenage Riot during a power blackout. They’re exactly what punk should be. A call to arms. A fisticuff fuck you. A deconstructive demolision derby that fires up the spirit. FUCK YEAAH! I mean, I’m pretty sure of it. I think? shit, did they even turn up tonight? No they’re out there somewhere I’m sure of it! Miss Golly Gosh. If (unlike tonight) you actually get a chance to see them WITHOUT the accompanying pirahna swarm? you’ll be in for one helluva ride!
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Sin City
Now this was a surprise. Not that I’d manage to sneak in ANOTHER band into this night (pfffft I mean duuuude.. really!), but that upon returning to the Crown & Anchor, there’d actually still be a Crown & Anchor left to return to. As much I understood it Miss Golly Gosh and their thousand strong fangirl army reduced this venue to a pile of ashes hours ago! Which may begin to explain WHY I skipped out on Angelik in the middle as quite frankly I’m rather happy with this mortal coil and the last thing I want is for it to spontaneously combust on me (as the dry cleaning bill alone would been astronomical) cough still, in defiance of all three laws of thermodynamics here we are: Crown & Anchor, act six, Sin City. You may remember them from the last time they toured here back in May. Or perhaps you don’t (because you’ve spent the last few months learning how to walk again after Molotov Barbie pulled one of her lap dance maneouvers on you) either way, they’re loud, they’re punk, they’re ska, they’re rock, they’re The Distillers mixed with No Doubt, I’m freaking batshit insane! Everyone caught up? good! mooooving on!
Sin City. As much as they are about the music, they’re also about being a bunch of posers. I don’t mean that in any kind’ve harsh way. I mean it quite literally. They are a bunch of “posers”. This entire gig is pretty much an excuse for them to pull shapes. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, as from a photography standpoint it’s probably THE most awesome thing ever! I mean, just look at those photos: the bug-eye, the devil tongue, the over arm, the spread eagle, the Elvis on a toilet seat? it’s freaking gold! Although I do sometimes wonder if this is ever the REAL “Sin City”, or if it’s just a bunch of animatronic puppets controlled from afar. You may laugh now but U2 have done it with Bono for years, and they never could quite get the eyes right.. whoooaaa! waaaiit.. where was I? oh yeah.. Sin City! go see them, they’re awesome! end of story!
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