The night was birthday party for Mz Ann Thropik and an album fundraiser. If you could not have a good time here, then you are a candidate to head up the Inquisition. The night started with a distorted, electronic, rock, hardcore, punk, aural onslaught as The Corps, Day Of The Meerkat, and Cut Sic went a little wild and a little hard. More accurately they went a lot wild and lot hard. If the crowd needed warming up on a damp Sydney evening, then that is what they got.

The frivolity was aided by Embilly, who had painted herself green and resembled the Dr Smith loving alien from Lost In Space (a show she and, probably, you are too young to remember). Embilly was roaming the crowd, collecting donations for the recording, and entertaining the patrons by pushing large nails up her nose. Watching people cringe while she did it, and seeing those that tried to emulate her chicken out, was certainly worth a donation.

The all-ages crowd was cramming to front of stage for Mz Ann Thropik when Vesper White, resplendent in pink balloons, appeared. The crowd cleared to make a room for her on the dance floor as she shimmied and swayed and starting popping balloons. Every exploded balloon bought a gasp from the crowd as it revealed more and more of Vesper and her brief, pink underwear. Being an all ages show meant Vesper was perhaps more covered than some of the audience would have liked, but she was not wearing much. Not much at all.

Vesper looked coyly around the room as the number of balloons protecting her modesty decreased. Then she reached over and grabbed the whipped cream and started covering her balloons (the inflatable ones you pervert) before exploding them. Finally she grabbed a birthday cake a smeared it all over herself. Rubbing the cream and pastry all over her nubile flesh. Then she stood, shook, and sauntered out of the room, flicking cake off her butt as she left. I was not the only one wondering who was going to wipe her down. Surely she needs an assistant to lick her clean. Where can I apply? When people ask me now what my favourite type of cake is, I answer Vesper White. Food has never looked so good.

People hesitantly waded through the sweet remnants of cake and cream and desire as Mz Ann Thropik started their set. In the time that I watched this band they have grown as a musical force. The members have changed numerous times and the current line up seems to be having more fun together than ever before. Throughout the gig they laugh and run around, a bit like kindergarten children high on red cordial. Magdalena herself has also grown as a performer. She has always had a strong presence on stage, but now we have increased theatrics. Imagine a punky, gothy, riot grrl, metal Kate Bush (without being metal) rather than a quirky, fluffy pop Kate Bush. And yet Magdalena is nothing like Kate Bush at all.

Tonight is a celebration of Magdalena’s birthday, complete with the Tiger Hat Army (the loyal underage fans of Mz Ann) singing her Happy Birthday, but it is also the album fundraiser. Like most bands in the world, Mz Ann are independent and play and tour and self-promote and struggle and save to finance their own releases. Not many bands have the luxurious life of U2 and Metallica. Most bands can’t spend months in the studio, holed up in a mansion indulging their fantasies of godhood. Egomaniacal bands obsessed with world domination can scream poor and wage a war against teenage downloaders while Mz Ann Thropik have to hand around a tin can to raise money. This is how most bands exist. Depressing and inspiring at the same time.

The band was on fire, ripping through songs old and new. The current line up has seen the keyboards replaced with a second guitar for almost every song. This has resulted in Mz Ann Thropik losing their pop edge in favour of a heavier sound. Debuted tonight was the song Witch Hunt which, in the tradition of their other new songs, is heavy, marauding, and loaded with passion and intensity.

It was an all-ages gig so the night finished early, but the fun did not stop. I went next door with the band and their friends to continue celebrating. I noticed Magdalena, Vesper and Embilly huddled in a corner, as I approached I could hear them talking about Tiki Tantrums, but as soon as they saw me they changed the conversation. I am sure all will be revealed about their mysterious plans, but that will have to wait for another time. The party continued and eventually degenerated to everyone singing along to Bon Jovi, The Cult and Billy Idol on the video jukebox. And Vesper still smelt of cake. A sweet, sweet smell indeed.

Photos by As Wicked Imagery. Cartoon by Mr J.