By the powers vested in me, it was near impossible to be in three places at once. My tardy arrival at Essential was with a mental assault of, “Dammit, why didn’t I get here earlier, this is fucking brilliant.” But the powers that be weren’t working in my favour. And the mental abuse continued well into an hour after arrival. Why didn’t I get organised, why didn’t I take advantage of utilising my plus one instead of trooping around sober on my own – on a long weekend. L-O-S-E-R. But alas there’s no time for drinking or chatting or fornicating when there’s three rooms to negotiate and another date with Juliette and the Licks to attend to.

To be fair, I didn’t get there until around 6pm, but what I found was an event like no other. Full steam ahead, the Essential Festival was sailing like a well oiled ship – oiled up on booze and body odour…oh, and a shitload of talent. It was a near deathly experience arriving to a suffocated Gaelic Theatre amid a crowd of merry-makers who’d no doubt been drinking since not long after Talons opened at the ungodly hour of 12, ah, midday.

Alas myself and a “pregnant girlfriend of a band member” were the only sober people within a square kilometer of that joint. Not to be deterred (or to induce RSA inquiries), I stalked on up to the ‘Gaelic Club’ room at the top of way too many flights of stairs. If I was worn out after four hours, god almighty help those who’d been powering those stairs for ten. At the top amongst some random memorabilia I found myself ensorcelled by the Silents resulting in more mental abuse: “Who is this band? Note – Vines influences. Where’s a set list? God dammit (yet again), WHAT HAVE I MISSED?”

Dardanelles for one. Seeing them at the dismal 1990s gig at the same venue, I left at 11pm – before 1990s even finished their set – with a signed copy of Mirror Mirror in hand, and from vocalist Josh, “Jeeze, I’ve never signed anything before.” Yes see loser comments above: I was their first and number one groupie. And with that, I vowed never to see the 1990s again, Dardanelles being the only highlight of a dreary weeknight. Need more be said – Dardanelles keep getting better and more confident with each gig. I don’t doubt Friday was anything other.

It would have been interesting to catch the pop/folk/acoustic stylings of Erin Marshall. I’d have liked to see what a bona-fide pop singer is doing at a festival as such – the next Delta meets Shania? Her lyricism isn’t bad. Just when you think, “Oh god! Spare the cheese,” somehow she comes through with something clever; integrity in tact.

I let bygones be bygones and went to see locals The Paper Scissors. They’ve really developed a loyal following, no more evident than the air punching, air drumming body builder at stage left, and the cries of “yeeeeeeeees!” to an enquiry whether the crowd were at the Gaelic two weeks prior for their show with Bluejuice. They played newbie Yamanote Line and fave The Bandit.

I then ventured back up to the little Gaelic club stage to see Shocking Pinks. A NZ band channeling 90s garage/nostalgia – early Smashing Pumpkins, Jane’s Addiction, hell, even Placebo come to mind. Manchester also comes to mind. A child’s playground. They were intriguing until I realised most of their songs sound the same. “This is one of our newer songs,” that sounds exactly like the last one we played. Alas, I think they’re great at what they’re doing and they’re on a cool label (DFA), but it was time to check out Richard In Your Mind at The Madison.

Richard was eccentric, as to be expected, his band amazing, the psychedelic sampling and distortion ingenious – but throughout a gentle acoustic guitar and an enthralled appreciative audience squished into a 4×5 space. From there, I caught the tail of Grafton Primary, who I was avoiding. The other ‘veterans’ (i.e. Regurgitator ) of the festival were…bizarre. I walked in to witness Relativity. People were digging it – they sounded good, he wore a beret, the Gaelic looked like Home nightclub eight years ago.

I then ventured up the stairs once more this time to see the Seabellies. Bless, I’ve heard a mate go on an on about this band, I just had to check them out. Their sound check took a while, what with six people on stage and a glockenspiel. They looked like a bunch of north coast surfer teenagers who decided to start a band (actually they are from Newcastle). Man, they can play. Singer Trent and drummer Sean swapped mid-song without skipping a beat – so that the drummer could play his trumpet. I would have loved to catch more, but time is of the essence at any festival, and I wanted to see Bluejuice.

YAY for Bluejuice! Who says white men can’t jump? Aye, talk about the indie Kriss Kross of the noughties. The whole crowd moving, it, again, was very cool. It looked like MTV before it was all about “credentials”. Paper Scissors frontman Jai lent his awesomeness to the boys for two songs. Vitriol really is the odd song in their mixed indie-funk-rap. They were better than I anticipated, and their energy at the end of the day when people aren’t caring too much was just boogie-licious.

I headed out from this point to my other date with Ms Lewis, but returned to see a relaxed Regurgitator reminisce Polyester Girl. It was a shame I’d missed Ratatat ...but seeing Regurgitator was like an old friend had returned from an extended holiday.

Fortunately they were running over time, so I enjoyed the 10 minutes I caught. But, still not-satisfied-curiosity got the better of me, and at 12.15am I endeavored on a final journey up those stairs to catch The Holidays. They were fantastic.

The Holidays, again are such a great young band, like the Silents. They’re doing something a little different. They’re making happy tunes. Today a read an article on both bands. I was impressed with their maturity. “Thanks for sticking around. We know it’s late…it’s been a long day for us.’’ Dude, there was a guy standing at the front of the stage singing every word. I most certainly hope he was a friend. Then again, the Holidays are deserved of loyal fans.

So…Essential standouts: Richard of Richard in Your Mind setting off a fire cracker in a space the size of a pool table (okay, so now law enforcement might be knocking on some doors). The ever-endearing and growing charms of the Paper Scissors – Jai chiming, “We played to three people upstairs last year, so thanks!” after ripping into We Don’t Walk. Sure I missed some cool bands ( Regular John, The Devoted Few, Pip Branson Corporation, Reptiles, Cloud Control ), but I dug what I saw.

Essential Festival delivered a well-executed collaboration of talent – drawing a decent, if somewhat weather-worn crowd. Hell, even bands not on duty turned up, like Yves Klein Blue. How I love an untapped market of fresh meaty musical talent. Note to bookers and organisers – job well done.