The Hard Ons Turn 21

Fri 6th May, 2005 in Local News

It’s late 2003, and Norwegian homo-supremacists Turbonegro are headed towards Australia for their first ever tour. And on whom should the honour of supporting this legendary band fall on but Sydney’s the Hard-Ons, riding high on the success of their ‘Very Exciting!’ album. But the connection between these bands runs deeper than a few obvious musical similarities: Turbonegro are huge Hard-Ons fans. Snappily-dressed guitarist PÃ¥l Pot Pamparius used to send them fanmail, and bassist Happy Tom was so into them so that for two months straight in 1987 he listened to nothing but The Hard-Ons.

This shouldn’t come as a surprise, however. The Hard-Ons can proudly name Mike Patton, Dave Grohl and Dennis Lyxzen among their many fans. Not to mention John Stanier and Page Hamilton from Helmet, ex-QOTSA member Nick Oliveri, Tom Gabriel Fischer of Celtic Frost, The Damned’s Captain Sensible, At The Gates/The Crown/Nightrage/Disfear frontman Tomas Lindberg (who also used to play in a Hard-Ons cover band with Ludwig from The (International) Noise Conspiracy), Pan Sonic’s Ilpo Väisänen, Tim Armstrong from Rancid, The Distillers frontwoman Brody Dalle and pop singer Kate Ceberano.

In 1992, Ray, Blackie and Keish teamed up with über-fan Henry Rollins for a run of shows together as part of that year’s Big Day Out sharing headline billing with Violent Femmes, Nirvana & Ratcat. The tour was perfect to promote their version of ‘Let There Be Rock’, with Hank doing his best Bon Scott while the band tackled AC/DC’s signature tune in a typically irreverent fashion, which they recorded together in 1990 after the Hard-Ons supported Rollins Band on their first Australian tour in 1989. Malcolm Young gave the version the stamp of approval.

At the Big Day Out the following year, The Hard-Ons were joined by Poison Idea’s Jerry A on guest vocals: Jerry had been a huge fan of the band and was actually one of the first people to send The Hard-Ons fanmail. And if The Hard-Ons hadn’t broken up in 1995, this “guest vocalist” thing may have continued with none other than Jello Biafra taking the mic.

All this (and much, much more besides) from three guys who met at high school in Punchbowl, gave their band the most obnoxious name their then fifteen-year-old minds could think of, who have never been signed to a major label nor tasted the forbidden fruit of commercial success (at least, not in their homeland). Who can play to 28 payers at a pub in Ryde one week, and headline a sold-out London Astoria the next.

And all the while, despite 17 consecutive #1’s on the Australian Alternative charts and impressive alternative chart positions around the world, commercial success always managed to elude them.

And now, in 2005, The Hard-Ons turn 21. Time to break out the baby photos and tell embarrassing stories. Or, failing that, to embark on a nationwide tour that reunites them with original member Keish (who quit the band several years ago and was replaced by Pete Kostic of Front End Loader and Regurgitator fame) who will be joining the band onstage to perform a few of their “hits”. Keish will be joining the current line up, seeing the Hard-Ons perform as a 4-piece at all shows.

“We hate nostalgia,” says bassist Ray Ahn, “but we just wanna part ways with the old Hard-Ons in a fun way, do something that is once and once only just for fun.”

And what could be more fun than sharing in the 21st birthday celebrations of Australia’s best punk band?

Thursday June 16, Coolangatta, Coolangatta Hotel with special guests Gazoonga Attack
Friday June 17, Byron Bay, Hotel Great Northern with special guests Gazoonga Attack
Saturday June 18, Brisbane, The Rev with special guests Gazoonga Attack
Friday June 24, Sylvania, Crest Hotel with special guests The Stockholm Syndrome
Saturday June 25, Mona Vale, Mona Vale Hotel with special guests The Stockholm Syndrome
Wednesday June 29, Lewisham Hotel, Tasmania
Thursday June 30, St Kilda, Espy Front Bar with special guests Gazoonga Attack
Friday July 1, Melbourne, Green Room with special guests Gazoonga Attack
Saturday July 2, Adelaide, Enigma Bar with special guests Gazoonga Attack
Sunday July 3, Loxton, Loxton Hotel
Thursday July 7, Mandurah, Players Tavern
Friday July 8, Perth, Amplifier Bar
Saturday July 9, Dunsborough, Dunsborough Tavern
Sunday July 10, Scarborough, White Sands
Friday July 15, Annandale Hotel with special guests The Stockholm Syndrome & Gazoonga Attack
Saturday July 16, Newcastle, Cambridge Hotel with special guests Gazoonga Attack