A sports science report has shown drummers to be comparable in physical fitness to elite athletes, perhaps explaining why they favour the shirts-off look. The eight-year study honed in on Blondie skinsman Clem Burke, a personal favourite of Dr Marcus Smith from University of Chinchester. According to The Australian, Smith and a colleague Dr Steve Draper monitored Burke’s “oxygen uptake, blood lactate and heart rate in rehearsals and live performances”.

“For me, as a sports scientist, he is no different to the Olympic athletes I have worked with,” the doctor deduced. “He loses up to two litres of fluid in a performance, which is similar to a runner going out and doing 10,000m.” Burke’s heart-rate averaged 140 to 150 beats a minute, though it could rise as high as 190 beats – which is the same level of exertion Cristiano Ronaldo reaches in a Premier League football game.

The moral of the story: if your parents hadn’t said no to that drum kit, you might now have abs. Time for them to pay.

These drums, however, do not count.