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Top Ten Reasons Coca Cola Sucks.

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Old Fri 13th May 2005, 8:55 PM   # 1
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Top Ten Reasons Coca Cola Sucks.

1. Those stupid, mind-blowing lame ads they have on all the time. 'Blood should be on the frets... ticket stubs should be cherished... someone actually got paid money to come up with this bloody campaign.'
2. Those stupid, mind-blowing lame ads they have on all the time.
3. Those stupid, mind-blowing lame ads they have on all the time.
4. Those stupid, mind-blowing lame ads they have on all the time.
5. Those stupid, mind-blowing lame ads they have on all the time.
6. Those stupid, mind-blowing lame ads they have on all the time.
7. Those stupid, mind-blowing lame ads they have on all the time.
8. Those stupid, mind-blowing lame ads they have on all the time.
9. Those stupid, mind-blowing lame ads they have on all the time.
10. Exploitation, monopolising, contributing to ill health throughout the world, especially in poorer markets.

But mainly 1-9. Have you guys seen these ads? Do they make you want to cry?
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Old Fri 13th May 2005, 10:24 PM   # 2
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Yes. Thank you Coca Cola for telling me what music should be. I, like so many others who have been getting it wrong for so long, now see the error of our ways and will reform immediately.


Also, Coca Cola sucks becasue it makes your mouth and teeth feel icky. ugh.
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Old Fri 13th May 2005, 10:38 PM   # 3
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I FUCKING HATE THOSE ADS!!!!!


ps i think this means rock and roll is cool again!
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Old Fri 13th May 2005, 11:01 PM   # 4
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Honestly, are they not the lame fucking advertisements in the history of advertisements? I know that Coca Cola doesn't have a reputation as an edgy, exciting company, but come the fuck on. Who do they think they're fooling?

People are always going to drink their beverages, so they should just piss off and stop insulting the intelligence of young adults everywhere.

If I was making ads for Coke, I'd have some average looking bloke sitting at the beach on a hot day drinking Coke for 30 seconds... and then the ad ends. No one gets offended, and everyone gets reminded that drinking cold beverages on a hot day is awesome.
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Old Sat 14th May 2005, 1:11 AM   # 5
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Quote:
If I was making ads for Coke, I'd have some average looking bloke sitting at the beach on a hot day drinking Coke for 30 seconds... and then the ad ends. No one gets offended, and everyone gets reminded that drinking cold beverages on a hot day is awesome.
DUDE! You're hired as a creative director in my soon-to-be advertising agency!!! *cough*

Anyways, I very much agree. That ad sucks SO much. I've seriously never seen a good Coke ad.. But then again, do they REALLY need advertising?!There's enough advertising on bloody movies already! And people seem to drink gallons of it each week already.
But bleh, hate Coke.. Hate most sodas actually.
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Old Sat 14th May 2005, 9:26 AM   # 6
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Hi

Oh well , thats one less on the potential sponsors list.
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Old Sat 14th May 2005, 10:41 AM   # 7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anton
If I was making ads for Coke, I'd have some average looking bloke sitting at the beach on a hot day drinking Coke for 30 seconds... and then the ad ends. No one gets offended, and everyone gets reminded that drinking cold beverages on a hot day is awesome.
You're not particularly familiar with the work of John Singleton, are you? Offensiveness has long been an innate part of advertising and it's not going to change any time soon. Why? Well, everyone here's talking about it, and the supposed drama. (Quick question - would those old soft-drink ads with lots of chicks in bikinis be much better?)

You hate the ad, but the product and the campaign are both sticking. Sounds pretty successful to me. Are you affronted by the fact that it's fairly true-to life? It's an ad that's targeted at teens, and one that's a positive, good ad. If anyone posted the script here as a post in a thread about rock, it'd probably get met with a "fuck yeah!" - I have no shame in saying that I like neighbours I don't know to get a dose of Oxbow now and then, and wholeheartedly agree with the thoughts on lip-synching and TV and support band soundchecks. Does that make me a Coke stooge? No.

To be honest, there's better reasons to hate Coca-Cola than their advertising. I would've thought the global octopus business practices were far more offensive. That, and Lazy May's second reason.

Right. Here's the ad:
Quote:
Music should make you want to drop out of school and play the guitar. And a live show should last a lifetime - there should be blood on the frets and the audience should dance. Support bands should get a soundcheck. Ticket stubs should be cherished. And everyone should want the lead singer.

Lip-synching should be reserved for b-grade kung-fu movies, televisions should take their rightful place at the bottom of hotel swimming pools, and damn right - your parents should disapprove.

Piercings should not be allowed in the moshpit. Blowing a whole month's pay on front-row tickets should be admired... if you can get them. And that '64 Fender? It should be earned, not bought.

Lyrics should be crafted to a point where, heard just once, they become burned into your memory as if they were your own. People who don't know the words should shut up and listen. And your favourite songs should be played so loud that neighbours you didn't even know you had ask you to turn it down.

That's music, as it should be.
How's this different, more or less, from how most people here feel about rock? I've heard a lot of these sentiments on these forums, and espoused a few myself. It's a good ad. Coke might be evil, but their having the ability to create a good advert isn't a reason for it. Unless this is all ironic complaining, and I'm missing the point. Perhaps it would be better if the ad featured Architecture In Helsinki, or someone with non-typical rock cred?
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Old Sat 14th May 2005, 10:42 AM   # 8
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Or, for that matter, The Casanovas? How come nobody's getting a dog up Pepsi or Rexona for putting over their adman's version of rock?
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Old Sat 14th May 2005, 11:29 AM   # 9
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I thought Pepsi was cool when they had The Pictures on their ad. But they undid all that hard work when they chucked Jaws and the boys on there.
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Old Sat 14th May 2005, 11:34 AM   # 10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luke
Or, for that matter, The Casanovas? How come nobody's getting a dog up Pepsi or Rexona for putting over their adman's version of rock?
The pepsi one doesn't have the arrogance the coke one does.
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Old Sat 14th May 2005, 4:17 PM   # 11
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Cor blimey Luke. I am familiar with the work of John Singleton. Oddly enough, studying media at university does give me some sort of understanding of the motives and methods behind the creation of advertising.

And, yes, there are far more important reasons to dislike Coca Cola, as you'll see listed - pretty sarcastically - as the final reason in my list.

My problem with the ad is that it co-opts and commercialises non-commercial, idealistically non-comformist ideals as its own, as if by merely mentioning an ideology Coca-Cola would somehow come to represent it.

It's nothing new, and ads will continue being made in a similar vein. That doesn't mean I have to lap the shit up.

Also, your argument that it's somehow successful because it's being talked about is off point. By that rationale, the only way to effectively combat an ad that offends your sensibilities is to ignore it. If you ignore it, the thinking goes, it will go away, because advertisers will see no reason to continue producing ads in the same vein. This ignores the fact that a) actively engaging with popular culture is completely necessary, whether you like it or not and b) as far as I can tell, the marketing kids at Coca Cola didn't make this ad with the intention to stir up controversy and anger from indie rock kids... they made the ad to get indie rock kids excited. I'm telling them - and, gosh darn it, I'm sure they're reading - that they failed, and if there's any justice in the world, not a single rock-loving kid in Australia will touch their products, as the ads will leave a dirty enough taste in their collective mouths as it is.

Is that reasonable Luke?
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Old Sat 14th May 2005, 4:36 PM   # 12
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i wll not put down their drinks in disgust as i have become addicted to them
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Old Sat 14th May 2005, 4:40 PM   # 13
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I support the alternative multinational corporation. Oh yeah! Pepsi Max dudes... that's extreme. I just punched a bear in the face.
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Old Sat 14th May 2005, 4:58 PM   # 14
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gggrrr i hate extreme sports with a passion and all the crap that surrounds them, that krusty demons crap, jackass all of that shit
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Old Sat 14th May 2005, 5:46 PM   # 15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anton
I support the alternative multinational corporation. Oh yeah! Pepsi Max dudes... that's extreme. I just punched a bear in the face.
hahahaha.

i have to agree with the consensus on the coke ads, they make me angry.

alas i am addicted to the evil black beverage with the red and white suit and can't see myself giving up anytime soon.
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Old Sat 14th May 2005, 6:12 PM   # 16
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Shouldn't that be a Jack Daniels advert?
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Old Sat 14th May 2005, 6:42 PM   # 17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anton
Cor blimey Luke. I am familiar with the work of John Singleton. Oddly enough, studying media at university does give me some sort of understanding of the motives and methods behind the creation of advertising.
My mistake then, Anton. From your post, it seemed you'd missed the point entirely, or were reacting with overly righteous anger. Which, given the ad, seems a bit extreme. I don't get the whole arrogance that you guys are saying that the ad contains: there's not a word said in the ad that wouldn't be said by any poster here in moments of rnr-fuelled bravado. Hell, they could've written the script with lines lifted from this forum - or from my blog.
Quote:
My problem with the ad is that it co-opts and commercialises non-commercial, idealistically non-comformist ideals as its own, as if by merely mentioning an ideology Coca-Cola would somehow come to represent it.
Please explain how rock's non-commercial? You buy albums, bands try to land deals. It's entirely commercial. They're hardly co-opting it because there's no really solid plug for the beverage in the ad - the only mentions being one or so cans (that I could spot anyway), and a logo at the end. I think it's about being associated with the scene, not being taken as a representation of it. For the target of this ad, it's quite likely that the acts that're favoured ARE heavily commercial bands. This isn't an ad for Blood Duster supporters, or lovers of Sadistik Ekekution.
Quote:
Also, your argument that it's somehow successful because it's being talked about is off point.
How is it off point? The purpose of advertising for Coke - given that they have pretty much total dominance of their field anyway - is about brand awareness and propigation. That's what the ad does. If it was convincing people to buy it, then every person on stage would have a can in their hand, lingeringly close-upped. That's not the point of this ad.
Quote:
By that rationale, the only way to effectively combat an ad that offends your sensibilities is to ignore it. If you ignore it, the thinking goes, it will go away, because advertisers will see no reason to continue producing ads in the same vein.
Nope. It means that I don't have to interact with it. You're making a leap by suggesting that I think it means that the ad will go away - I don't. I know that complaining and lobbying is the only way to do this. I still don't get what there is to complain about? It's not like there's masses of underaged cleavage on display in the crowd scenes.
Quote:
as far as I can tell, the marketing kids at Coca Cola didn't make this ad with the intention to stir up controversy and anger from indie rock kids... they made the ad to get indie rock kids excited.
This is not an ad aimed at "indie rock kids". It's aimed at teens and MMM listeners. You're not the demographic because you're familiar with the culture in its most grassroots, small-audience nature. This is an ad for the broad-brush, for the tweens and teens and people who only ever go to big ticket gigs and for whom the romance of the big rock legend is enough. Studying media should make it apparent who the target is.
Quote:
Is that reasonable Luke?
Not really. It seems to me that this is an overreaction because a multinational has dared to portray a beloved subculture truly in an ad. It's punters and fandom, and wannabe-rockers presented in a fairly naturalistic light. If they'd been way off the mark, wouldn't this be a more mirthful, pitying reaction? They're giving the rock scene some kind of coverage, and it's a world away from the fucking McDonald's using people like Justin Timberlake to represent youth culture. What would you prefer to be fed to kids - rockers or R&B? I don't know - maybe, like I say, I'm missing the point in your ironic and sarcastic positing of the argument. I don't think that's helpful.
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Old Sat 14th May 2005, 7:45 PM   # 18
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The issue isn't necessarily what is said in the ad... the issue is who's saying it and where it's being said.

Personally, I take issues with advertisers transparently co-opting sub-cultures in the interests of scoring cash from impressionable kids. Indeed, that's the nature of the beast, but that doesn't make it right.

You say that the script could have come from this forum or your blog. Therein lies a problem. Coke advertisements aren't people... in a perfect (advertising) world, Coke would turn up, tell people what they're offering, maybe throw in a lame joke or a hot babe or two, and then fuck off. The fact they're representing themselves - a corporation, with no altruistic interest in music - as the face of rock 'n' roll offends me a little.

To paraphrase criticisms (justifiably) levelled at me many times: just because you don't 'get' something doesn't mean it isn't there. People see arrogance in the advertisement. People see a gross testament to transparent corporate posturing int he ad. People are offended by the ad.

Your act of disagreeing doesn't invalidate the opinions of others, even if you do so in well-constructed paragraphs. Nor does it mean that I 'missed the point entirely' or that I'm reacting with 'overly righteous anger.' Your reaction to, uh, my reaction is, of course, valid. But that doesn't make it right.

My point, ultimately, is that there's a massive divide between the truth, beauty, emotional resonance, etc. of music that means something to people,regardless of the economics behind its production, and the dirty marketing tactics of a - by definition - soulless, economically-driven corporation.

And, again, just because co-opting ideals and values and sub-cultures happens all the time doesn't somehow make it acceptable.

And there, free from sarcasm or irony, are my thoughts. Need I ask whether they're reasonable yet?
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Old Sun 15th May 2005, 2:41 AM   # 19
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JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

so i'm home alone, listening to billy bragg on headphones, it's a quarter to three in the morning and i'm on FL. i hear this rumbling noise and it freaks me out, i figure it's just a possum or something.

the this rumble gets louder and it's pitched a bit higher. i jump back in fright and turn around aggressively, ready to kick the arse of whoever's making the noise.

i can't see anything so i glance back to the screen to see a mobile phone revving like a car. i'm sure you all know what i'm talking about now

i don't care about the coke ads, i want sneaky ads with weird noises banned!
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Old Sun 15th May 2005, 5:24 AM   # 20
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Seriously, it might be due to a liberal serve of retardedness, but it took me a good minute or two to work out what was making that bloody noise. It was immensely irritating. Finally I scrolled down and was all 'duude... oh man... gross.'

The Coke ad is still worse though, hehe.
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Old Sun 15th May 2005, 11:40 AM   # 21
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i haven't seen the ad.

my nomination for why they suck is the live'n'local tour last year.
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Old Wed 27th Jul 2005, 6:37 PM   # 22
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If I drank coca cola after some of the pits I've been in I'd be in the morgue from dehydration
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Old Wed 27th Jul 2005, 6:51 PM   # 23
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Yeah. Better to drink beer.
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Old Thu 28th Jul 2005, 7:57 AM   # 24
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I think that alot of people see the new ads as corny because they don't like A) who is doing them and B) how they are being portrayed.
The message is all right but the method is all wrong.


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Old Thu 28th Jul 2005, 9:22 AM   # 25
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those ad's are funny. but the funniest thing about them is seeing your friends on them. heh heh heh yeah they suck but at least my friends got paid.
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Old Thu 28th Jul 2005, 10:35 AM   # 26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anton
1. Those stupid, mind-blowing lame ads they have on all the time. 'Blood should be on the frets... ticket stubs should be cherished... someone actually got paid money to come up with this bloody campaign.'
But walking down the street with a guitar sans case is cool, isn't it? Not to mention practical...
*rolls eyes, chokes back vomit*

Coke sucks...
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Old Thu 28th Jul 2005, 9:18 PM   # 27
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To be honest, I don't mind the Coke ads at all. However, I do hate how beer commercials as drunken yobbos who have nothing better to do than secretly drink brand X beer without 'the missus' knowing.
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Old Fri 29th Jul 2005, 1:03 PM   # 28
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Hey, Its all about the Kit Kat ad with Lemmy from Motorhead! Now that makes me want to eat Kit Kats!!
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Old Fri 29th Jul 2005, 1:13 PM   # 29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kill
Hey, Its all about the Kit Kat ad with Lemmy from Motorhead! Now that makes me want to eat Kit Kats!!
For real? Haha.
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Old Fri 29th Jul 2005, 7:21 PM   # 30
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1. Filling in my tooth
2. Filling in another tooth
3. Decay in yet another tooth
4. Decay in yet another tooth again
5-6. The ads

Im sending Coke my dental bill
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Old Sat 30th Jul 2005, 12:01 AM   # 31
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i think we all know the damage coke does to our systems, you can't act all ignorant and say it's their fault your teeth got fucked
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Old Sat 30th Jul 2005, 12:02 AM   # 32
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(and i'm sure you haven't been living on coke your whole life, so you can't exactly say it's their fault :P)
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Old Sat 30th Jul 2005, 12:28 AM   # 33
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(and i'm sure you haven't been living on coke your whole life, so you can't exactly say it's their fault :P)
I never said it was 100% because of Coke.

Coke was a massive factor though. And i drank a shit load of it back when i was ignorant of its effects.
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Old Sat 30th Jul 2005, 11:25 AM   # 34
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are you saying coke, and sellers of coke, need to start having warning labels like on cigarettes?
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Old Sun 31st Jul 2005, 11:34 PM   # 35
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Coke is bad cos they are affiliated with McDonalds. You know the rest.
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Old Mon 1st Aug 2005, 10:21 AM   # 36
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it's tasty and everything, but I know that coke does more bad things to my body than good. If you felt like being dramatic, you could actually say that it was slightly poisonous.
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Old Mon 1st Aug 2005, 11:43 AM   # 37
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Yeah. But if you wanted to be dramatic, you could say the bitters in your lemon, lime and ------ was poison as well.
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Old Mon 1st Aug 2005, 11:57 AM   # 38
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yeah, but nobody spends big bucks marketting bitters as a beverage to be enjoyed at any/all available opportunities.
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Old Mon 1st Aug 2005, 12:03 PM   # 39
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Yeah. But if you wanted to be dramatic, you could say the bitters in your lemon, lime and ------ was poison as well.
Actually bitters are a health tonic... they're actually devised to assist in digestion and aiding liver function, so that theory is out the window.
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Old Mon 1st Aug 2005, 12:27 PM   # 40
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Indeed. But that's in really small doses. Drink 30-50ml of it - called a 'Game Over,' unsurprisingly - and its poisononus qualities will be abundantly clear.
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Old Mon 1st Aug 2005, 12:36 PM   # 41
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Ahh, yes, but as the Mythbusters have shown us, it makes a great chrome cleaner.
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Old Mon 1st Aug 2005, 4:57 PM   # 42
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i haven't seen the ad.

my nomination for why they suck is the live'n'local tour last year.



and isn't there another one coming up? hmm... fishy.
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Old Mon 1st Aug 2005, 5:00 PM   # 43
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The one this year is actually a great line up. And considering you'd have to spend less than $15 on Coke to get a ticket to it, I think they've done a rad job with it.

anyway.
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Old Mon 1st Aug 2005, 11:14 PM   # 44
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I'm not against Coke, the company. No more than I'm against thousands of multinationals. I'm against those ads. I had to watch that fucking full-length ad in the cinema today.

But Sin City made up for it because it's the best movie I've seen in a year or two.
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Old Mon 15th Aug 2005, 2:21 PM   # 45
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This ad shows rock and roll from the typical poser's point of view. I think rock n roll is about doing your own thing, seeing things from your own POV. But then again the naive, brainwashable posers wouldn't understand that now, would they?
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Old Mon 15th Aug 2005, 4:24 PM   # 46
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Dunno, Tayla, better go to Purple Sneakers and ask 'em
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Old Mon 15th Aug 2005, 5:03 PM   # 47
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I dunno, I find the "five Cougars thanks" ad more offensive....
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Old Mon 15th Aug 2005, 5:17 PM   # 48
jpol
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Personally I love Coke, probably drink too much of it, and haven't had a single filling and I'm nigh on my 20th birthday
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Old Thu 18th Aug 2005, 10:25 AM   # 49
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Christ, some of these posts are way too long for me to read.

And I know I'm a little late jumping on the thread bandwagon, but I'm bored and I had to watch one of these ads in the cinema yesterday.

I feel compelled to throw something at the screen everytime the "blood on the frets" ad is aired. It's all very poetic but really, if they were going to do the "authentic rock experience" thing, why didn't they include someone spewing to the side of the stage? Damnit, I want to see some violence, some unsightly sweat marks, someone getting overexcited and jumping on stage, then being biffed by security and deposited outside. I want to see students idly stirring two minute noodles after blowing their paycheck on that ticket. Oh, and if I've spent all my money on a concert ticket, I sure as hell won't be buying coke with my extra two dollars.

Why is everyone in that ad beautiful? Not to mention they all look so dazed that it seems Coke may have supplied some kind of sedative before the filming. What's the deal with the "no peircings in the mosh pit" thing? Sounds a bit Sensible to me.

I agree with Anton's idea about a realistic representation of the average coke-swiller.

EXT. DAY - Construction Site
Barry, clad in creased navy blue shorts and faded flanno, props a work boot up on a stack of bricks, wipes the sweat from his brow and twists the cap off a fresh bottle of Coke. He chugs it down with relish, wipes the sticky sediment from his mouth, and belches loudly.

Coke logo appears.

FADE TO BLACK.
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Old Thu 18th Aug 2005, 10:27 AM   # 50
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Haha. Yes! THAT'S poetry.
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