The Beards are back in town to create all mayhem and strife as they preach to the beardless of Adelaide. Fresh off the plane from the World Beard and Moustache Championships Leigh McGrane sheds more light on the latest goings on.
How did the world Beard and Moustache championships go? “Well none of us won anything – but we never really expected to. Our beards are good but they’re not that good! We were a bit like the Jamaican Bob Sled team in Cool Runnings. We came last but we did it with pride and we flew the flag. It was a lot of fun – bearded people everywhere! We performed at the opening ceremony in front of a crowd that was like 90% bearded. Instead of trying to recruit people we were preaching to the converted!”
How are there any new developments in the art of grooming beards and moustaches? “It’s now been scientifically proven that shaving hinders beard growth – so give it up.”
Are there any great products to assist in the maintenance of beards and moustaches that you found out over there? “Some say living in a tropical climate helps, some say eating lots of protein. But really the best way to grow a beard is to do nothing at all. The only time you’re not growing a beard is when you’re shaving.”
How was the band received? “The band went down great. The bearded audience seemed to know the words, we sold a heap of CDs and there was a real sense of bearded unity.”
Are you looking forward to your Adelaide show? “We can’t wait! We’ll be playing around an hour of songs about having a beard. We’ve got two great support acts, who have beards, and a few surprises…”
Any discount at the door for anyone with a beard or moustache? “Unfortunately not. We tried to make it so people without beards couldn’t even get in but apparently that’s discrimination! It’s probably for the best anyway – we want beardless people there because every shaven face is a potential beard. Any beardless person who sees us will be convinced by the end of our set to start growing a beard.”
What’s the next big challenge for The Beards? “We’re trying to convince the whole world to adopt the bearded way – one city at a time. We’re convincing Adelaide this Friday, then in July we fly to Queensland and try to convince Brisbane (the most beardless place in Australia). Then Sydney, Canberra, Melbourne and a bunch of towns in between.”
Collectively do you have an insurance policy on your beards? “No because beards are free. If you cut off my beard it will just grow back bigger and better.”
What would you say to someone to convince them they should grow a moustache? “I wouldn’t try to convince someone to grow a moustache because a moustache is just a poor man’s beard. We don’t care for Movember – we are far more interested in Decembeard.”
Check out The Beards tour diary from the World Beard and Moustache Championships HERE.
The Beards launch their new CD Beards, Beards, Beards at The Governor Hindmarsh on Friday June 19 with support from the Barons of Tang and local bearded legends Grandmas Shotgun. Tickets are $12 at the door from 7.30pm.
to listen to their music now on 