Hard-ons: Still upstandingafter 25 years

Wed 21st Nov, 2007 in Features

“They must be huge in Australia! They’re probably driven around in limos right?” So said The Goo Goo Dolls of Australian punk-rock legends Hard-ons.

Oh, delicious irony. – œI’m a cabbie,’ says Blackie, Hard-ons axe-wielding frontman, – œPeople hop into my cab and they’re like, “Blackie?! Oh fuck, I’m in a cab with a legend!”

I’m like, “Yeah mate… legend! Where you off to?” They go “I didn’t think you c#*ts had to work!” That fucking cracks me up. It’s really hard living off air, dudes!’

Speaking to Blackie on a sunny Melbourne morning, I parrot a couple of stats. Australia’s most successful indie band, with over 250,000 albums sold globally, Hard-ons have had 17 consecutive hits on the Australian Alternative Charts. Cabs instead of limos? How can you have this career yet no real recognition?
– œIt’s kinda weird how this fucking country is, you know?’ drawls Blackie. – œWe’ve done all that and people chose to ignore it. I guess we were never a cool band.’

So if The Aria Hall of Fame people ring Blackie? – œI’d hang up,’ he laughs, – œI don’t want to get infected with any “average” germs.’
After consideration, Blackie concedes, – œThis all sounds really bitter. In a way it is, but in a way, I’m not. I couldn’t care less. We definitely work outside the system.’

Starting Hard-ons while still at Punchbowl Boys High School, the boys had their detractors. In what Blackie describes as a – œfucking bizarre episode’ the school stunned them with a recent appearance request. – œFucking 25 years later, the school rings and says, Look we’re having a special get together for the students of note. [We’re] on stage [with] all our old teachers clapping and going, [assumes game show host voice] “Now ladies and gentlemen Ray and Blackie of the Haaaard-onnnns!”

I made a speech and I was like, “I remember my form master hounding me the whole year because I said – œDon’t worry about my grades slipping—I know what I’m doing with my life. It’s called punk rock.” I wish he was here now, I’d make him kiss my arse.”’

Blackie and Ray Ahn (bass) united in 1982 (with ex-drummer Keish) and have just clocked up their twenty-fifth year together— Pete ( Front End Loader/Regurgitator ) filled the void left when Keish quit. After a quarter of a century are they slowing down at all?

Blackie says no. – œOur last European tour was absolutely brutal. Actually someone followed us round with a camera and they’re threatening to make a documentary.’

Prolific as always, Hard-ons released Most People Are A Waste Of Time last year and have already backed it up with 2007’s Most People Are Nicer Than Us.

What the new record like then? – œIt’s just heavy,’ fires Blackie bluntly. – œThe other one was just pop. We wanted to represent the two sides to the band, the melodic and the heavy sides. Some European companies didn’t like the heavy shit, so they only put out the gay one, and another UK label liked the heavy one so only put [that] out. Having it come out separately was a bummer but luckily there’s a label in Germany who is gonna put it out as a double album.’

As a group Hard-ons have seen a lot of change in the Australian music scene over the years. I get chatting to Blackie about the current state of affairs and as always he is brutally honest. – œThese times [are] really conservative.’ He pauses for a moment apparently searching for diplomacy. – œI don’t mean to be rude, but it’s shit I’ve heard before. There’s heaps of good shit out there you’ve just gotta dig for it. But the so-called indie scene …I find it atrocious.’

So no New Romantic revival and drum machine for Hard-ons when they get back into the studio again? – œWe’ve already written most of the new album—that’s something different again. We’re thinking of having one of those albums where we have guest stars. And I say stars in inverted commas,’ he laughs.

Before that, though, they’re playing dates up til Christmas while planning another European assault early 2008. With interviewing formalities behind us Blackie and I discuss the internet. As a group that pre-dates the net, they could never have foreseen the potential problems with googling ‘Hard-ons’.

’ When we got our website, I didn’t have a computer so I went to the library to look at shit. The library’s half filled with school kids and half filled with old ladies and yeah, Hard-Ons dot com… I just kept getting porn. I couldn’t turn it off! Fuck it was embarrassing. “Aw, I’m not really looking at this! It’s not what it seems like!” ’

I suggest that the nana’s are looking at him thinking, ‘Bull-shit.’
He laughs. – œYeah exactly!’

Get the website right to save embarrassing incidents at the library and get behind Oz legends at one of their upcoming dates:

30 Nov – Green Room in Canberra w/ Regular John
1 Dec – Annandale in Sydney w/ Regular John
7 Dec – Ding Dong Lounge in Melbourne w/ Regular John
8 Dec – Karova Lounge in Ballarat w/ Regular John
14 Dec – Maroochydore Sands Tavern on the Sunshine Coast
15 Dec – Club 299, Fortitude Valley Queensland
22 Dec – Gaelic Theatre in Sydney

www.hard-ons.net